Survival Me Vs. Healing Me

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  Recently, I found myself reflecting on some of the names I've been called throughout my life. Guarded. Standoffish. Quiet. Distant. For years, I accepted those labels as personality traits. I assumed that was simply who I was. But healing has a way of revealing things we couldn't see before. As I've learned more about nervous system regulation, trauma, faith, emotional healing, and self-awareness, I've begun to wonder: What if I wasn't being guarded because it was my personality? What if I was surviving? When survival mode becomes your normal, you don't always recognize it. You learn to stay alert. You learn to protect yourself. You learn to keep parts of yourself hidden because somewhere along the way, vulnerability didn't feel safe. Over time, those protective behaviors can become so familiar that they begin to look like identity. But they aren't always the same thing. The truth is, many of us have spent years operating from protection rather than co...

You Are Your Only Competition👀


 

  I used to look up to many different women, embracing the parts I admired—grace, strength, confidence—trying to mold myself into something I thought I was supposed to be. I didn’t grow up knowing how to be “ladylike.” I was a tomboy from around 10 to 17, dressing like a boy because it made me feel safer. More invisible. More protected.

I was one of the guys—not because I was into girls, but because I liked the energy. There was less drama, less competition. They weren’t sizing each other up the way I saw some girls do. And now, when I see men competing with women, something inside me says, “This is backwards.”

Competition has long been expected from women—whether for attention, validation, or status. But I never understood that. Why aren’t we working together? Empowering and supporting each other? Why the jealousy? What are we fighting for, really?

Unless someone challenges you, why compete at all? Are you trying to prove something to someone who probably doesn’t even care?

If you want to compete, compete with yourself.
Try to be better than who you were yesterday.
And if you feel the urge to impress someone,
Try impressing God—the only One whose opinion truly matters.

 

 


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