Survival Me Vs. Healing Me

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  Recently, I found myself reflecting on some of the names I've been called throughout my life. Guarded. Standoffish. Quiet. Distant. For years, I accepted those labels as personality traits. I assumed that was simply who I was. But healing has a way of revealing things we couldn't see before. As I've learned more about nervous system regulation, trauma, faith, emotional healing, and self-awareness, I've begun to wonder: What if I wasn't being guarded because it was my personality? What if I was surviving? When survival mode becomes your normal, you don't always recognize it. You learn to stay alert. You learn to protect yourself. You learn to keep parts of yourself hidden because somewhere along the way, vulnerability didn't feel safe. Over time, those protective behaviors can become so familiar that they begin to look like identity. But they aren't always the same thing. The truth is, many of us have spent years operating from protection rather than co...

You Forgot Your Self-Worth

 

 


When you don't know your worth,
You wear your soul like open skin—
Easy to bruise, easy to break,
A quiet invitation to be mishandled.

You let them write their names in your silence,
Let their lies become your language,
And call it love.
You become a canvas for gaslighting—
Their truths painted over yours
Until you're unsure of what you saw,
What you felt,
What you were even trying to say.

You tolerate the sharp edge of disrespect,
Calling it patience.
You bend, and bend,
Until even your shadow forgets how to stand.

Confidence trickles out
Like a leaking faucet—
Drip by drip,
Trust in self washes away
In the flood of "maybe they're right."

But then—
A moment of stillness.
A sacred pause.
And you begin to see.

You sift through the ruins,
One memory at a time.
You trace your steps—not to blame,
But to reclaim.

You take responsibility,
Not for the wounds they gave,
But for the doors you left unlocked.
You see where you shrank,
Where you said “yes” when your soul screamed “no.”
Where you traded your truth for their comfort.

And in that raw, honest mirror,
You finally see her/him—
The version of you
That deserved more all along.

Now, you rise—not bitter,
But better.
Wiser.
And rooted in awareness.

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