I Was Running Only To End Up Where I Began - Full Circle

 

I Was Trying To Hide from God, But He Never Left Me

There was a time I didn’t want anything to do with what God was calling me to do. I was filled with fear, shame, and pride. I felt unworthy to speak, unqualified to be used, and too broken to be seen.

In the beginning, I was just embarrassed—ashamed of my past, my mistakes, my pain. I couldn’t imagine how anyone could see value in me, much less listen to me. And even though people did listen, the moment my faith got shaken, I pulled back. All the way back and everything went left.

I got good at hiding. I no longer wanted to be seen at all. My life felt destroyed, and so I convinced myself that I was disqualified. The truth? I knew of God, but I didn’t have a relationship with Him.

But He was calling me anyway.

Even in my silence, He whispered. Even in my shame, He waited. Even in my rebellion, He loved me.

I took the long way back—I mean I tried every way possible for me to try and went down rabbit hole after rabbit hole just to make sure there was nothing to gain, only confusion, but I made it. Glory to God!!

Now, I’m learning to walk with Him. To trust Him. To depend on Him fully. And the most beautiful part? I’m no longer running. I’m home.

 Hosea 11:4 (NLT)
“I led them with cords of kindness and love. I lifted the yoke from their neck, and I myself stooped to feed them.

Affirmation: Even when I hid, God still saw me. He called me by love, not by shame. And now I walk with Him—free and fully known.”